Thursday, March 22, 2012

I Have Been At War and I'm Ready for it to END!

For the past two weeks I have been fighting an internal war.  It's completely taken over all of my thoughts and I've felt totally out of control.  Perhaps some of you might understand what I have been going through.  I have been at war with my body.  I have been working so hard at being healthy and being positive and I think I just hit a road block and I let it flatten me. 

#14 on my list of things to accomplish this year is to delete the word diet from my vocabulary and fall in love with my body and nurture it to good health and fitness. I want to say that I did this.  In fact, if you minus the last couple of weeks, I would say that I have done this.  I no longer, and will never again, do fad diets or anything super crazy in the name of trying to get skinny.  I've learned that if I listen to my body it will tell me what it needs.

Our bodies are INCREDIBLE.  It breaks my heart that I spend so much time looking in the mirror and pointing out what's wrong that I completely miss out on the true beauty of my body.   I am healthy, I am strong and my body has never let me down.  It has carried me through a marathon, it has healed when something has broken or sick, and  every single day of my life it has done what I've asked it to do. 

I think the past couple of weeks I let the negative thoughts enter in and I've beat myself up pretty bad.  And when I get down like that I turn to food hoping that it will take away that pain.  So I eat and eat and eat, but I remain numb. The food doesn't help, instead it makes me feel worse.  The other day I was trying to figure out why I was so out of control.

I realized two things.  First, I was letting the negative voice in my head be heard without realizing it.  Second, I wasn't exercising.  I've come to realize that exercise, even a simple walk around the block, lifts my spirits and makes my body feel better.  When my body feels good it craves good things and my spirit feels good, which in turns helps me to turn away from food for comfort.  I am definitely someone that always loves to be moving. I love to exercise and be active.  My body craves to be outside and to be constantly in motion.

So yesterday I came home from work determined to go for a run.  It was a beautiful day and I had a wonderful run.  This morning I did the same thing.  I ran outside and my body came back to life and the negative voice in my head left.  I know there are tough days, but I plan to remember that I am beautiful. My body is beautiful.  This life we are all living is beautiful.  When you look in the mirror, look for the beautiful.  It's there. I promise! 

The war is over.

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