Sunday, February 19, 2012

Say What You Need to Say

For the past year or two I have been working on speaking up and using my voice.  I've always been one to keep things to myself and not always say what I am thinking or feeling.  I knew that the things I was keeping inside of me and bottling up were hiding away in my heart, waiting impatiently for me to open my mouth and let them out.

As I have been working on this, I have also realized that sometimes it takes me a bit longer to realize what it is that I do need to say.  It takes me time to process and to figure out what it is I am really feeling or thinking.  If I speak too fast, I sometimes end up saying things that I didn't even want or need to say. But because I didn't take the time to think things through, I just spit things out and word-vomit all over myself and those around me.  A big lesson I have learned is that its okay to slow things down, think things through and allow your heart and mind to come together to create the words you really need to say.

This past week I feel like my mind and heart have come together and my insides are jumping around all over the place, begging me to let out the words my mind and heart have created. This is something I know I need to say, so here you go.

Recently it seems as through there have been some terrible and horrifying things that have happened throughout the world.  Things that have made my heart break for those who have suffered through these events and their families and loved ones that care so much about them.  As I have thought about it one thought continues to come back to my mind.  We are all children of God, which means that we are all brothers and sisters. 

I have my own beliefs that are the foundation of everything I do, and I know that each of you have your own beliefs as well.  But the one belief that I know to be a universal truth is that God loves us, because we are His children, and the things He desires most is for each of us to love each other.  When I think about people who do horrible things I believe that sometime in their lives, they weren't loved.  They were left alone, believing they weren't worthy of love. 

As humans we can be so cruel, and in our own short-sightedness and judgmental ways, we don't realize the pain and anguish we cause someone because we make them believe they aren't worthy of our love.  What gives us the right to choose who is, and who is not, worthy of our love? Our love comes from God, and it is meant to be shared with every person, regardless of who they are, what they wear, who they love, what they believe, what sins they commit and any other choice they make.

This is a process my heart has been going through lately.  I used to give my love only on conditions of whether or not I thought that person was worthy of it.  I judged others for their mistakes and thought that the only way they would be allowed a portion of my love is if they changed their ways and lived the way I expected them to. In my mind I thought I was right, but in my heart I knew something was wrong, but I didn't understand what.

Until this week.  I was driving in my car.  It was just a regular day. I was out running errands.  And then suddenly my heart leaped and my mind was full of understanding.  I am not the one that chooses who deserves or is worthy of being loved.  Instead, I am a vessel of God's love, which is to be shared with every person I come in contact with.  I am not here to judge, only to love.  And in the moment I understood that, my heart and soul was filled with God's love. 

Earlier I said the as humans we can be so cruel. On the other hand, as humans we can be so compassionate and kind.  We can save another person's life just by loving them and letting them know that they matter.  I am a work in progress when it comes to offering my love unconditionally, but I am learning and I want to be a person that loves everyone and sees each person through the eyes of God.  There is not a single person on this earth who deserves a life with no love at all.  No matter who we are, or what we've done, our whole lives can be changed for the better if there is someone who is willing to love us and help us recognize our worth.

So that is what I needed to say today.   You can be the person that saves another life.  Share your love. Look at others with the eyes of love and throw away your eyes of judgment and pride.  Start by loving yourself.  You are a child of God.  When you understand who you truly are and recognize that you are of infinite worth to God, you will quit seeking for worth from the world around you and find that within you is a part of the divine of God.  He loves you. You don't have to pretend to be anyone else when you are in His presence. He loves you just the way you are.  And when you know that, you will have no problem loving those around you, because you'll understand. They are your brothers and sisters, seeking for love and acceptance, just like you.

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